Looking Back

I wish I could go to college now that I am a full person and not a shell of mistrust and uncertainty. Yes, because I think I would have made a far superior academic showing now than I did then and yes, because I would have taken classes and taken advantage of resources that suited my real interests rather than interests that I thought I should have. But mostly because college is an unparallelled opportunity to get to know people who are different than one but who are, by virtue of their age and station in life, at their most committed to getting to know others at a deep level. Or even at a not so deep level. Either way, merely being in the presence of others at a time of mutual openness is a beautiful thing. If one accepts that knowing others is the richest part of being alive then college is almost decadent in its offerings of people to know and love. I miss it.

From On Beauty by Zadie Smith

Memorable passages:

"Here were people, friends. A boy called Ron, of delicate build whose movements were tidy and ironic, who liked to be clean, who liked things Japanese. A girl called Daisy, tall and solid like a swimmer, with an all-American ingenue face, sandy hair and more of a salty manner than she required, given her looks. Daisy liked eighties romantic comedies and Kevin Bacon and thrift-store handbags. Hannah was red-headed and freckled, rational, hard-working, mature. She liked Ezra Pound and making her own clothes. Here were people. Here were tastes and buying habits and physical attributes." (page 210-- There's a side of me that feels that this description detailing the lightness of individual ego rings true)

"And so it happened again, the daily miracle whereby interiority opens out and brings to bloom the million-petalled flower of being here, in the world, with other people. Neither as hard as she had thought it might be nor as easy as it appeared." From page 211, when Zora joins her friends after travelling to meet them, alone.

"He did not consider if or how or why he loved them. They were just love: they were the first evidence he ever had of love, and they would be the last confirmation of love when everything else fell away." Jerome, on his siblings (page 236). The sentiment could be extended to parents as well. I love this and on my least alienated days, I feel this towards my own towers of absolute love.

"It is on journeys like this-- where one is so horribly misunderstood-- that you find yourself longing for home, that place where you are entirely understood, for better or for worse. Kiki was home. He needed to find her." page 307. exactly what I feel about romantic love. A good articulation of what I'm searching for as I search for my Kiki.

Page numbers from the 2006 Penguin edition with the pink cover

Atlanta

Am immediate burst of humidity and the overwhelming smell of family were the unneeded clues that hinted at today's big event: I am home.

From Anaïs Nin

I, with a deeper instinct, choose a man who compels my strength, who makes enormous demands on me, who does not doubt my courage or my toughness, who does not believe me naive or innocent, who has the courage to treat me like a woman.

Random thoughts: 7.15.2009

*"Go Deep" by Janet Jackson is a GREAT going out song. Also her hair is hawt


*I like the British journalistic style more than the American. It's more honest and quite a bit more fun to read as the author doesn't try to remove herself from the article-- it is assumed that the author's views are critical companions to the piece itself. There also seems to be more snark and humor in the British press-- they acknowledge the inherent gossip-yness of the whole enterprise of writing and thus don't take themselves as seriously as we do on this side of the Atlantic. Maybe in a few years blogs and snark will have accomplished a similar humbling in the American press.

*A good story is nothing without strong control over the release of information. Good storytellers have mastered the art of knowing when to tell, when to keep silent and how much to tell over the course of a story's unfolding. I think I am a decent writer but I struggle with being a good storyteller.

*From The Minotaur by Barbara Vine, "It was all so remote from anything I had ever known," [Kirsten] declares of the Cosways' social rituals, "that I was defeated by it." Could just as well be a description of my social interactions at my place of employment. SO much autism and awkwardness!

*Optimism and belief in a better version of humanity is probably the changemaker's most potent tool

*Is google trying to replace the personal desktop? It seems like they're aiming to make teh personal desktop accessible from anywhere in the world as long as you have your login. Hence gmail (email), google docs (word processor), calendar (outlook), quicklinks (safari), igoogle (desktop)

*Interesting idea: "It really comes down to a confidence issue. So much of your day-to-day life really works to erode your confidence and that's another reason you need to flirt, to build up your own confidence."
I agree.

Fro-spiration

Film review: Up

Up touched me to my core. It matched the final episode of "Six Feet Under" in its ability to move me to irrational tears whose Niagara-ish onslaught were cathartic in their force.

The relationships in this film were incredibly depicted. The subtlety of their depiction made them all the more powerful because they felt true-- there were no larger-than-life epic overtones that are typical of Disney relationships from the last century. Instead all we got were real connections and shared moments of tenderness between people who had lived their lives together in one instance and the substance of love between old and young in the other.

One sequence showing the beginning, progression and eventual end of a shared life between Ellie and Karl was particularly wonderful. It was simple and its message (one among many, really) hit home with me: truly loving and living with someone in good faith and appreciating the simple pleasures of existence (sunshine, picnics, a cozy chair and full indulgence in the warmth of a home) are enough to constitute an adventurous life. We do not need to see the ends of the earth or have adrenaline-fueled adventures. We just need to find someone to love and find adventure in living inside that love.

Great film, visually beautiful and very funny (both wittily and goofily so). I doubt anyone could watch this movie and not find something to love. My confidence in making the previous statement speaks to the universality of this film and for me that is one of its strongest points. I do so love to watch a film that all would love to see.